From time to time my dog sitting talents are called upon and I step up to the plate. And this is generally how it goes.
The last time I was being a substitute dog mom, the first 3 days were perfect. The pup and I were getting along great, she wasn’t getting into anything she shouldn’t, she barely barked or whined, and didn’t go anywhere but outside. She also hadn’t warned me of any non-existent fires (see link above). Then on the fourth day, I left the ole Lifesaver alone for BARELY AN HOUR, and returned to find a half-eaten moldy yogurt and a pair of my undies* all ripped up. And the little gal was just beaming up at me as if to say, “Missed you so much I had to eat your underwear!” My worst fear was materializing before my very eyes… I immediately sent a text to my sister explaining the situation. As the mother of a precocious 80 lb four-legged toddler I figured she’d know what to do. And in my defense, there was laundry in the washer at the time of this incident!
And yes, the dog is just fine. I am TRAUMATIZED, however, and refuse to dog-sit henceforth without my bomber jacket, pilot goggles and leather helmet hat (photo of me in said uniform below).
*I use the term “undies” loosely here… as it was actually a pair of old swimsuit bottoms. Normal??
I recently became a part-time dog sitter just for the experience. I visited a dog one morning, very new on the job, who slept so soundly for so long that I had to ensure she was breathing. I waited about half an hour for her to wake up. This led me to write a story about a dog sitter who found the dog dead. In short, no underwear adventures yet.
LULZ. I love your honesty. And your use of The Jerk references.